The Art of Sudoku
by Ember.Atlas
Summary: Sometimes people are like puzzles and you think you have the answers but you realize that all the numbers are entered into the wrong places. Jade's attempts at solving the puzzle that is Tori.


**This is an expansion on one of the drabbles in my other fic, Puzzle Pieces. When I was originally writing it, it went well over the word count that I expected and I decided it was too long. So I cut it short but this is what I had in mind from the beginning. Let me know what you think and if you can see this happening with Jori.**

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_**The Art Of Sudoku**_

_Sudoku is a puzzle in which players use a partially filled grid to figure out how to complete the rest; each puzzle has a unique solution._

* * *

Jade knows that in their dynamic, Tori is technically the one who "won." Tori was the fighter. She had gone to more lengths and she was the one fighting from the very beginning to be Jade's friend, to break down her walls, to see past the tough exterior Jade had, and to get Jade to trust her. Jade was the one who finally broke down and let Tori in.

But there comes a time when Jade is the one who needs to do the fighting. She didn't notice at first, the walls that Tori had herself. Well…maybe not walls. _Jade_ had walls. Tori had…Tori had a mask. Looking back on it, Jade is ashamed that it took so long for her to realize. While Tori was busy fixing her and making her a better person, breaking down her walls and melting the ice, she had done nothing to return the favor. Tori puts everyone before herself. But it's more than that…she won't let anyone take care of her. She gets uncomfortable when people ask her if she needs help. She always says she doesn't. She is _always_ smiling. Jade should've known; the people who are always smiling are _always_ the loneliest…

It suddenly hits her one day when she is over Tori's house. Tori is quieter, more subdued. Trina is talking about herself as usual and Jade will admit that she does have her decent moments from time to time but today is not one of them. She flounces through the room and she doesn't spare her sister a glance. Tori's eyes are fixed on the TV; she doesn't seem to care but Jade knows better by the way she's chewing on her bottom lip and her hands are fiddling with each other in her lap. Jade watches everything unfold curiously.

She observes the way Tori's family moves around the house and they are all like breezes, flighty and unfeeling. They all move around each other but never actually touch or interact and everyone acts as though they are the only wind, all going in their own directions. Her father is the East wind, big and noisy and cutting his way through the room's peace and quiet. Her mother is the North wind, cold and distant, blowing through sharply without a care. Trina, the South wind, is already upstairs, flighty, whimsical but dramatic and entirely too full of herself to be safe. Jade's eyes fall back on Tori; she _would_ be the West wind- warm and inviting and refreshing except for the fact that…she is still and silent like a rock on the couch. Her face halfway lights up when her mom says something. But she doesn't look up from her phone and her tone makes it clear that she doesn't actually care and Tori's face falls again. When her mother finally does look up, Jade notes, Tori plasters on her usual smile and reassures her mother that she doesn't need anything while she's out.

That's when Jade realizes. Tori does all she can for others because a small part of her likes to be acknowledged and needed but the bigger part, Jade realizes, doesn't think she's worth anything. She doesn't think she is supposed to be put first because she's so used to being put last. She is constantly being ignored and she is used to constantly accepting it.

She is staring at Tori in wonder when she realizes that maybe they aren't so different after all. Tori turns to her when her mother finally leaves and they have the room to themselves. She opens her mouth, a smile already adorning it again but at the look on Jade's face, she closes it and frowns, looking perplexed, "What's wrong?"

"Vega…" she doesn't really know what to say. Her hand grabs Tori's arm and her thumb strokes the skin there, "You know that…you're important…right?"

Tori nods, though there's a look of utter confusion on her face as she studies Jade, "Um…sure, I guess?"

"I just…" Jade expels a breath as she runs her fingers through her hair. She stares at Tori, "You're…kinda ignored here, you know? Jeez…your family-"

Tori's expression crumples for a second and Jade watches as indignation, hurt, heartbreak and finally anger flash across her face, "We are not talking about this."

And Jade, who has never seen Tori shut down about _anything_, is not sure what to do. But she knows she has to keep fighting because it's what Tori did for her and it's what Tori's parents _don't_ do now. She drops it for the day though; she backs down and presses a gentle kiss to Tori's forehead. When the creases there smooth out, she moves down and presses another, more lingering kiss on the girl's lips. And Tori seems happy enough that she dropped it but Jade's mind is already busy and whirring with ideas.

She starts small, making sure to notice even minute details that may have changed about Tori. She gives her compliments at least once a day. She asks how she is feeling, how her day is. Tori is mildly confused but Jade does everything so gradually that she doesn't catch on. Then she moves onto bigger things. She begins helping Tori, skipping right over the step of asking if she even needs help. If she sees Tori struggling with books or a bag, she'll grab it without saying a word. She automatically helps her with history, something she knows Tori struggles with because she doesn't have the attention span or motivation for the subject. She lets Tori have her way sometimes without fighting. She lets Tori pick their dates more often, lets her pick out the movies, the kind of food to order. Sometimes, if she's feeling really nice, she'll pull Tori's feet into her lap and tie her converses because they always seem to come undone. Jade doesn't baby her and she's not overprotective…she just pays attention a bit more and makes it a point not to ask Tori if she needs help. She knows she doesn't but Jade also knows that sometimes people want help anyway.

Finally, there comes a day where Jade must actively fight. Tori is a mess; she is clumsier than usual, she is quieter and more likely to snap, but scarily enough, she is also acting more cheerful and she is eager to help with the most miniscule of problems. Jade figures there must be something very wrong indeed if she is even helping Sinjin with "girl issues." Jade decides to wait until she is dropping Tori off after school to bring it up.

"Is there anything you need to talk about?" Jade asks and Tori hesitantly shakes her head. Unlike Jade, who just didn't like sharing her feelings and being vulnerable, Tori doesn't even know _how_. She's not used to being cared about. So Jade tries to keep that in mind and be patient as she puts a hand on Tori's thigh, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah Jade. Lay off," she shrugs jerkily and makes to leave the car but Jade automatically locks the doors. Tori looks back, frowning in annoyance, "Jade seriously-"

"Why won't you let me help you?" Jade asks honestly. Tori cringes and immediately looks uncomfortable, "Look, I'm just- it's been a long week and I just have a headache so…"

"You're lying," Jade says flatly, a touch of annoyance in her voice now. "Vega, I-"

Tori rolls her eyes and pecks Jade on the cheek. "I'm fine. Thanks for the ride home but like I said, I just have a headache so I'll see you tomorrow."

She avoids Jade's eyes and so doesn't see her girlfriend glaring. Or the sudden resolve that appears there. She makes it as far as the door and when she opens it, she turns to give one last wave to her girlfriend only to see that Jade is right there, glowering. Tori glares back and pushes her hair away from her face, "Jade! I'm fine! Nothing's wrong w-with me…"

Jade's face softens at Tori's stuttering and she takes a step back and tries to look less confrontational. She shrugs, "I just…I want to make sure. I'm your girlfriend. It's my job."

"Well, I don't want you to…" Tori starts to complain as she tries to stealthily slide through the crack.

Ordinarily, Jade would respect her wishes, respect that she needed space and leave her alone. But Tori's parents aren't home, her sister's car is nowhere in sight and Jade knows that Tori needs something but it most definitely isn't space like Tori thinks. So she shoulders her way through the door and walks past Tori into the house where she promptly sits on the couch. When Tori doesn't move from her position by the open doorway, she raises an eyebrow and pats the seat next to her. Tori sighs and after slamming the door, stomps her way over to the couch and sits where Jade directed her. When she sits at the far end of the couch instead of next to Jade, the pale girl grabs her wrist and tugs at it until Tori begrudgingly moves in closer. Jade throws an arm around her shoulders and presses her lips to Tori's cheek before pulling away.

Tori looks curiously up at Jade who sighs, "Vega…Tori…please tell me what's been bothering you. And don't tell me 'nothing' because you've been acting really neurotic all day."

Jade can tell even by the way she holds herself that Tori is unsure. Normally, she'd be all over Jade, cuddled right into her side with an arm thrown over her stomach but now she is stiff and on edge, almost as if she isn't certain whether she wants to run or fight.

"You have to let it out," Jade implores. "Just like you told me I need to put my walls down, you have to…take your mask off. Or whatever this is."

"Oh like it's that easy? What do you want me to do!?" Tori tries to glare but Jade just gives her a neutral stare.

The mask is already slipping. Jade doesn't know why it took her so long to realize that the cheery, bubbly, I-can-fix-that, watch-me-save-the-day Tori everyone is used to-that's the mask. And the irony is almost painful that the thing she admires most in Tori- the thing she hated the most about her when she first came to their school- is her ability to shine and to be confident in herself and it is all actually a huge front. Jade shakes her head slightly and looks back at Tori; it isn't really a surprise that she never noticed Tori had a mask because Tori herself doesn't seem to be aware of it either. She looks desperate and shaken as if she's scared of what she feels, as if she's never felt this way before. Jade thinks that maybe she never did. Maybe no one ever noticed or cared enough to notice and so, no one ever got as close as Jade is now. It's a bittersweet victory; she is the only one who is close enough to see the mask Tori wears but she is also the one ripping it off and causing Tori pain.

She prods at Tori's side gently but firmly, "Let it out."

"I-I can't!" Tori fearfully looks up at Jade, as she tries to retreat but Jade tightens her grip again. She makes it a point to stay calm and keep her tone neutral even as Tori's increases in volume and pitch.

"Tori-"

"No!" Tori finally succeeds in yanking away from her and strides away. Jade immediately stands up and grabs her wrist, trying to pull her back but Tori jerks her hand away.

"Just talk to me."

"Why!?" She's pacing back and forth now, like a caged tiger and Jade almost wants to stop because she's never seen Tori like this but that's also the reason why she knows she has to continue.

"Because it's important," she insists.

"I-I don't-"

"…Tori…"

Jade sighs and Tori's eyebrow twitches and suddenly Jade knows. This is it. Almost like the cracks that appear in ice and spiderweb until it is completely destroyed, Jade can pick out the anguish in Tori's face. It's in the way her chest suddenly hitches, the way her eyebrows crease, the way her eyes are suddenly a lot brighter…

"Wh-what do you want to hear Jade!? That I woke up today to an empty house and a st-stupid note that said my parents were going to be gone for a week? That they didn't even say they loved me or to be careful or to call if anything happens or that they were sorry that they were going to miss the concert that I told them about a _month_ ago? Or how about the fact that Trina, after letting me sleep even though my alarm went off, after burning the last of the toast and eggs and eating the last of the cereal, left me so I had to walk to school for the fifth time this month? And when I told her about the two jankheads that kept whistling at me, she only said they couldn't have possibly been hitting on me because I didn't look like her. Do you want me to tell you how worthless I feel? How utterly unimportant I feel when my parents can't even be bothered to stay around? Did you want me to say that it hurts like _hell_ when my whole…family…acts like my existence doesn't even matter to th-them…"

Tori's voice catches on the last word and her breathing is getting a lot harsher. Her face looks absolutely heartbroken and before she can say another word, Jade grabs Tori and holds her face steady with both hands as she presses her lips to hers, trying to convey how much she means to her. A broken sound escapes Tori's throat and she grabs at Jade's wrists to hold her hands in place. She takes a shuddering breath and her hands move to fist in Jade's jacket as she desperately clings to her. Tori begins crying silently; Jade can feel the tears and taste the salt. She hastily breaks away and kisses her forehead before bringing the girl into a hug. She tucks Tori's head into her neck and holds it there as she rubs her back and murmurs soothing words in her ear and thinks to herself how odd it is to be in such a position. She knows that Tori is the crier in their relationship but she always kind of thought that she'd be the one crying after an important, emotional revelation.

When Tori's shoulders aren't shaking anymore, Jade sits them back on the couch. She doesn't speak because she can tell that Tori is a bit overwhelmed and probably doesn't know what to say; her eyes are blank as she most likely recounts everything that was just said. Jade puts on a movie, some mindless thing for background noise that they can watch if the fancy strikes them. Then she falls completely still, except for the hand that is constantly stroking Tori's arm as a reminder that she is there should the need to talk again arise.

Time goes by and Jade lets it pass in silence; she knows Tori's parents aren't coming home and Trina usually takes advantage of that and goes out all night so they have plenty of time and plenty of space. Looking down at the girl, whose head is now resting on her lap and who is preoccupied with the television, Jade is silent and pondering. She has a moment of clarity when she realizes that their parenting skills probably explain Trina's attention-whore tendencies as well. She makes a mental note not to be as cruel to Trina because, despite how much the girl displeases her, Jade still has a heart and Trina already has it hard enough, apparently. Maybe, she would talk to her about ignoring Tori, however; they should stick together. In the meantime, how does she make this better? How does she fix Tori? Not that she's defective or anything but her parents did a wonderful job of ensuring that pride and confidence would be scarce in their kids. So now Jade feels like she has to make up for that.

Except that she has no idea how. It's one thing to do little things that put a soft smile on Tori's face when she appreciates something but it's another thing entirely to actually give her confidence in the fact that she's important. Jade thinks hard about the core issues that Tori has ; _she's always helping people and putting her pain on the backburner so her best side is always showing…and that's obviously because she wants attention or acknowledgement…but unlike Trina it's like…she rejects it when she gets it…like she doesn't think she's worth it…_

"_When your world is grinding to a halt…_" Jade sings. Her head is leaning back onto the sofa so that she can't see anything that is not the ceiling but she can tell Tori is looking at her. She is silent and Jade knows she must be confused. "…Huh?"

Jade heaves a huge sigh and continues on, refusing to look away from the ceiling, "_But you're spinning way out of control…_"

She feels the weight leave her lap as Tori sits up and finally she looks the girl in the eyes as she continues singing, "_And even when the walls come crashing down and all the lights go out. All you have to do is call my name and I'll come running out._"

Tori's eyes are glistening with new tears but they aren't falling so Jade takes it as a good sign and keeps singing, "_Cause I am on your side. Don't you worry about it all. If you take your time, I do not mind, I'll meet you down the line. I will…meet you down the line…_"

It's silent as Jade breaks eye contact again and berates herself; she should've waited until the song was finished. She thought it might make Tori feel important, to hear a song written about her. Or at the very least, she would realize how much Jade, and others cared about her. Out of the corner of her eyes, Jade sees Tori crossing her legs on the couch as she turns fully to face Jade. She reaches out and grabs her hand, lacing their fingers together. Her thumb grazes Jade's gently.

"You…is that…did you just come up with that?"

"Well…no I…it's just something I'm working on."

"You wrote that...for me?"

"Well I _am _a writer…I just…I mean- it's not a big deal! Sometimes I write songs and honestly, I wasn't sure if I even wanted to show it to you but-I just…listen the point is: you _are_ important. And _I_ notice you," Jade said earnestly, looking down into Tori's eyes for the first time. "And plenty of others notice you too. And not just for the sunshine but everything else; I notice everything. I just…I want you to talk about this stuff with me. Because I'm here. _Down the line_ and all that."

Tori smiles softly and it's the first real smile Jade's seen all day so she takes that as a great sign. She makes a silent vow to finish the song as soon as possible so that she can see that smile again. Right now, however, she is just glad that she could take some pain away from Tori, if only for a little while.

Unfortunately, it is only for a little while asTori pouts, "I still don't get why it's so important that I talk about it…"

"Tori, you wanted me to drop my walls and I did. And it was scary and uncomfortable and I'm not saying yours will be better but it's important…for us but mostly you. Don't you…trust me?"

"Yes, of course! I just don't…I- no one needs to worry-"

"Tori, I'm already worried about you. That's what people do when they care; they worry about what's hurting you. I swear you worry about others so much, you forget there's parts of you that need worrying."

"I-" Tori is starting to look uncomfortable again with the idea of people caring and worrying. Jade sighs inwardly because, despite knowing that Tori couldn't be cured in a day, she was kind of hoping it would happen anyway. She decides that Tori has done enough for one day so she nudges the girl's arm with her elbow and smirks.

"Like that outfit the other day. What were you thinking?" Tori tries to glare at her but it is utterly ruined by the laughs she is attempting to restrain.

"Jade!" Tori admonishes, swatting at her arm. Jade smirks and catches her hand, yanking Tori into her arms, "Let people care about you. Let them worry. You _are_ worth it Tori. You _are_ important. Don't ever think otherwise. Please. "

Tori's giggling stops and she sobers up. She wraps her arms around Jade's waist and settles her head on her shoulder, mumbling, "I know…I just…"

She's ready to trail off again, to wave away her thoughts as though they aren't important when Jade's grip tightens, "…Tell me babe."

"I just feel…empty inside sometimes," Tori confesses. She looks down, unsteady and unsure, "Do you…get that?"

And Jade does get that, gets that sometimes, after trying so hard to not be in pain, you get a little numb to it, which is a pain in itself. She gets that after you're done helping others and no one is helping you, it makes you feel a little small.

Jade tilts the uncertain girl's chin up and Tori tenses for a moment but relaxes as Jade nods solemnly and kisses her softly in response. She tugs the Latina even closer until they are flush against each other and laying on the couch. She feels Tori's hands grip the back of her shirt before she relaxes completely and when they separate, Tori rearranges her body so that she is curled up and her head is tucked into the hollow of Jade's neck. Jade wraps Tori up tight in her arms and makes sure to speak directly into Tori's ear when she whispers her next words like a secret.

"I can fill in the spaces."

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**So, as I stated in Puzzle Pieces this is what I originally wrote for this prompt but it was much too long so I ended up cutting it short so it could fit. I like this one a lot more and, if you didn't read Puzzle Pieces, just to reiterate a few points:**

**1. I think it's very important for Jade to have to fight for Tori. I think relationships are two-way streets so while Person A might be fighting in the beginning, eventually Person B would have to put in effort as well. So, in Jori's case, yes Tori definitely fights to get in Jade's good graces but Jade would have to fight just as hard to truly get Tori.**

**2. With regards to that, I really do believe that Tori-and by extension Trina- definitely have major issues with their parents. They are never home, they never seem to care at all and they are honestly terrible parents. It's not so much their absence but their blatant disregard and lack of concern for anything is terrible. Both sisters have free reign for the most part and while Trina may seem like the "bad" result and Tori the "good" result, I think they'd both react/adapt different ways and they'd both be rather damaged. Trina demands attention by being outlandish and annoying and it results in even more neglect and/or negative attention. Tori, however, is a people-pleaser which is just as damaging because when you are so concerned for other people, you tend to hide/suppress yourself and your true feelings. Obviously, Tori lets out her frustration on the show at times but I don't think it's a stretch to imagine her hiding her deeper, more intimate, vulnerable feelings.**

**Idk, when I write for Nick shows, I tend to ask myself, what would this show be like if everything was the same except the show was a teen drama/soap opera with a pg-13 (or higher) rating?**

**ALSO- The song Jade sang is called **_Down the Line_** by **_Julia Doogan_**. It's a great song. I got it from the TV series Foster's which is a good show. I won't say it's amazing but it has an amazing message and really good songs. It's the kind of show that has heart. So I recommend that all you guys watch it. **

**Anyways, please review and let me know how you feel about this and my above thoughts! And if you liked this, check out my other fic Puzzle Pieces if you already haven't. Be on the lookout for other fics. If you like angst like I do, especially in regards to Jori, I have two more stories I've already begun writing. :) Have a nice day/night!**


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